RIP

Last night at about 9:30, my dog Einstein left this world. Me my sister Moriah, my brother Toby, and my parents stayed up late into the night crying and sharing memories. He was beautiful dog, and we all loved him. It hurts that he's gone. He was a part of our family, and he died. This morning we told me little sisters and buried him in the back yard. We sang Amazing grace as we lowered him into the hole we dug, and I held a crying 4 year old girl in my arms. It hurt. A whole lot. I helped put the dirt over him,    And I wanted to take it back. I wanted to touch his body and make sure he was dead. But I knew he was. My sister was there. I only wish I touched him once before he was put in the ground. But it's too late now. And I want to ask my pooch to forgive me, but it's too late for that, too. I can only try to forgive myself. I wrote a poem. That's. The only thing I could try to do. Listen to music and write a poem. So here goes.

So many

Days

I yelled

Too many

Tears

I shed

All of that

Pain

Is here

I just want

It 

To dissapear

I should've

Thought

More clearly

I would've 

Reached

One more time

The pain grows

Though

It numbs, too

Don't think that

I'm 

Healing yet

Sometimes you

Can

Be broken

Pain can reach

In

And rip you out

There's one. I wrote another, too.

Pieces of me

Are with you

Watch over them

Your pain is gone

Though mine stays

Deep and rising

Tears shed deepest 

Not by me

By one you loved

She has more pain

Then I do

Doesn't matter

I will still say

Pain is pain

No matter what

I wish this pain

Would run off

I'm breaking off

I don't want to

Be alone

But I can't speak

These memories

So hurtful

Leave me alone

Pain is the one

World of love

Remember that

Embers of love

Don't forget

Tears falling stil

Saying something

Hurts too much

I just cry now

Walking away

Feels too wrong

But I can't speak

Someday maybe

This pain will

Wash away like

Waves of all my

Tears and blood

Lost and found heart

It's here!

The IPad mini I will be sharing with my sister Moriah (symptomsofwritesanity.blogspot.com) came and we just got it all set up. This is the first blog post eveer to be written on it. Like. A. Boss. :D Thanks for everything guys, and now I hope I'll have more time to write. :)

New blog

I'm starting a blog for people who want to closely follow my YouTube music. I'll still post about it every one in a white, but if you went to be really involved, then go to http://elsielansberry.blogspot.com/. :-) Thanks, and have a great day!

80th post!

This is my 80th post on my blog! What? Can you believe that a little under a year ago you had this? That's just crazy. Thanks everyone who has read my stuff and kept me going. Seriously, you guys rock. If you're reading this and randomly found it on the web, YOU. ROCK. But really, it's crazy how much this blog has helped me. I have an announcement to make, though.

 On June 21st, I'm starting my YouTube channel, and posting a cover of you guessed it, a song. (Kidding. I'm putting a poll on the sidebar. For real this time.) This will be fun, and after that I'll be doing more covers, and maybe (haha not really maybe!) posting some Originals. (SONNNNGGGZ!)

 I'm kind of crazy about this. Life will be crazy until then, but I also went together with my sister (Moriah, check her blog out) And bought a...wait for it... IPAD MINI! So I'm exited. That'll help and give me more writign time. Which is good.  :-)

As celebration, I made a mock cover for Burden. Super exited, and I think it's perfect.

So, thanks for bearing with me on this. :-) Thanks and a great day to you!

Book Review: Shatter Me.

I got a trilogy at the library called Shatter Me, and I'm done with the first book and I've started on the second. It's a read in one or two sittings kind of book. So I thought, hey, I'll do a book review. There will be minor spoilers, but I'll put those in brackets so you can skip over them. Let's start with talking about her writing style. It's competently original, with awesome metaphors around every corner, like "My worries put on a pretty dress and pretend to be something else for a while.", and this weird cross-out thing going on. I got a page from the Amazon look-inside as an example.

So that's kind of what the book is like. Like I said, really original writing style that sticks with you. I kind of envy the spunk the writer has. It's great.

The feel is like dystopian, fantasy, mystery, with a a sprinkle of X-Men thrown in at the end. Like I said, original and fun.
Rating: 9 out of 10.

The plot.  Very original.  I'll just post the synopsis for this part. I'ts a great blurb, which you normally don't find.
 No one knows why Juliette's touch is fatal, but The Reestablishment has plans for her. Plans to use her as a weapon. But Juliette has plans of her own. After a lifetime without freedom, she's finally discovering a strength to fight back for the very first time—and to find a future with the one boy she thought she'd lost forever.
In this electrifying debut, Tahereh Mafi presents a riveting dystopian world, a thrilling superhero story, and an unforgettable heroine. 
Rating: 8 out of 10.

Now, the people, the MC and beyond. The MC I think has a very original feel to her, and a new spin on someone who's been isolation. At times she seems obsessed with numbers which I think makes a lot of sense and adds a nice touch to the book. Her love interest, however, is a really dimensional person. You feel his pain, and the anxiety of him though her. I think all of the characters were well done, including the ones who were in for only a moment.
Rating: 7 out of 10.

Now, the romance aspect. This is the spoiler part. The romance was definitely there, and in my opinion at times  little too front and center, but I prefer more action and less romance in a dystopian novel. but it was less than typical. I like it, but it can get a little old at certain points in the book. (Don't worry, they fix it in the second book.) [She'd actually known him for a long time, and he's been looking for her for a long time, and finally he did and they'd loved each other secretly for a long time without actually speaking to each other. Sounds typical, but it's not. Just trust me.] 
Rating: 5 out of 10. 

Well, now comes the part I'm not too crazy about. How age appropriate is it? Well, there is a fair amount of swearing. They use the D-word a few times and the S-word also. Too bad there's not Clear-Play for books. There's also some long kissy scenes. Nothing like really bad, but in my opinion too much kissing. [Considering at lots points one of them is dying/captured at most times.] 
Rating: PG-13.


So, if you're okay with swearing and  descriptive kissing scenes, this is a great book. Uncomfortable at times, yes, but the idea is really cool and original. If you do read it, please let me know what your thoughts are, and thanks for reading!

Burden: Chapter 1, Part 1: White walls.

Chapter one
White walls.
4 years later.

An alarm clock goes off, and a dirty hand reaches out and turns the beeping sound off without completely waking up. The owner of the hand groans and sits up, throwing the blanket off before she has the chance to fall asleep again. She stands up, walking to her dresser, running her grimy hand over the white walls, opening the white dresser drawer, staring at herself in the white mirror overhead.Surrounded by white, as always. She thinks, grabbing a pair of jeans and a black tee covered in blue and green sequins. You’re surrounded by white, Naira. She closes the white drawer and runs past her white bed into her white bathroom. She hums a little and gets dressed, pulling her hair into a ponytail and washing her face and smiling at her makeup-less face in the mirror for a moment. Thick, black, hair, And dark, dark, grey eyes, so dark they almost seem to be made of metal. A cream white face with a few red blotches scattered over it, but not distracting anyone from the smile, from the love in her eyes. Then, she closes the white curtain over her mirror and washes her hands. Then, walking back into the bedroom, she picks up a box on her bedside table. She reaches around her neck and unclasps a blue ribbon with a key hanging from it. She inserts the key into the heavy lock hanging from the box, like she does every morning. “Good morning, Dunira.” She mutters,opening the box very slowly, revealing a glowing orb that looks like a small earth. “Don’t worry, I won’t flood you today.” She shivers as she thinks of the time she held the world over the sink, not wanting to think of how many people on this world she swore to protect died because of her. “That was a few weeks ago, and we’re good for now.” She carefully sets the box on the bedside table again and turns on the mechanism that turns the world, making day come to pass on the other side of the world halfway through this day. “Have a good day, Durnia.” She says, and walks out of the room into her kitchen. She walks over to her white cabinets, silence ringing in her ears through the entire tiny house. I’m all alone, like always. She thinks. Then she tries her best to push the bad thoughts out of her mind and grabs a granola bar, link in a moment and staring at the blue wrapper, as if it’s some sort of foreign object. She smiles, mutters “Color.” and runs out the door towards her school. Her heart beats in her chest as she runs down the hill where her lonely house resides, breaking off bits of her granola bar as she goes and popping them into her mouth. The grass outside rustles as she passes, as if waving good morning to her. She’s smiling just the slightest bit, because after what happened last week, she’s ready to fall back into something that resembles normal. She shivers as she remembers her hands, holding the world she promised to protect over the sink, emerging half of it in water, tears mingling with it. Naira stumbles a little on a rock as she thinks of how she took the world out at the last moment, seeing as tiny specks float around in the water, maybe bushes, maybe trees, maybe homes, maybe people. But she stopped. She knows she can do this. The man chose her. She is strong, she is brave. And she will strongly brave this burden that she accepted so long ago. She promised, once again, that day that she would. And she did her best to save the world again, but it back in the box, and  tried to move on. Because she misses him. She misses Dante. She did last week, when it happened. Because she doesn't know where he is, and who knows why he left? But he doesn’t know. He’s gone, and she doesn't even know if it’s her fault.

Today...

Today, with a smile on my face, I created the document for my new novel, Burden. These are exiting times. I'm better at writing, and this will be my first novel in 3rd person. It's kind of amazing. So, I'm really exited. As I am every time, but I'm going to just jump in and catch up on the last three days with 300 words.

*10 minutes later*

I just remembered starting is hard. And sucks. But ah, well, that is life. So I'm gonna post the epilogue here, but in the future, I think I'll to one Burden post a week, or one every time I finish a chapter.


Epilogue
The morning was bleak and sad, and a girl of about 13 sits there, tears streaming down her cheeks, hands shaking as she pulled her coat tighter around her body. She sits low, leaning up against an abandoned, old, fountain at the park. The memory of running plays in her head again, but she can’t do anything about it. Her mother kicked her out. And now, she’s alone. All she’s doing right now is waiting for him. Waiting for the man. Because no matter how hurt and missing her heart is, she knows she has a duty to her world, and to the other world. The man comes up, and the girl stands, grasping his hand in a firm handshake. They exchange a solemn look and sit down again, the man and the girl. Old and mysterious, and young and impressionable. Still they say nothing, and the man takes out a small box of dark oak wood. The girls gasps and her hands stop shaking.
“Is this it?” He nods and reaches again into his burlap satchel. The girl reaches over and picks up the box, her hands starting to shake again. She forgets about her home for a moment, just thinks about the magical feeling of what’s inside that box. The man reaches watches for a moment as she runs her fingers all around the box, smiling tears a river on her face. The box is a dark wood, with thin lines creating the image of an angel on the top of the box, and Latin words carved deeply, swirling over the surface of the box. Dunira est, defensum esse vitae lacus mundus. Melior est terra et omnes qui scire est numquam. She doesn't know what it means, but she holds onto the words anyway.The man hands her another object, a ring made of twisted silver, made into Celtic looking knots and encrusted with a few small, light, sapphires. The girl nods and slips it onto her finger.
“If you need help, look for someone, somehow, with that same ring. They will know, and they will help you. But I can never see you again.” The girl nods again, her chin up, trying to be confident. “And you know what to do with the box.” She nods for the third time, and another tear slips out of the corner of her eye.
"I know.” Her voice twitches, and she grimaces. She meant to sound strong. The man takes her wrists in his hands and turns his intense eyes onto her.
“Listen. You can’t tell anyone. Ever. You know what you must do if someone finds out right?” She nods, a memory of all the times he’s told flashes over her vision. She nods again, since it seems that’s all she can do. He starts to stand but she grabs his wrist.
“Wait.” Her voice is hoarse suddenly. Maybe it’s from the cold, maybe from the fear and determination. “I want you to say my name, just once. I never told you, but I know you know it.” How frowns and it’s his turn to nod.
“Goodbye,” He says. “Naira.”

May? Wait...May?

Yes, people, it is indeed May 2nd. And I chose a writing project yesterday...Kind of.

Let me explain...
Okay, so my mom suggested I write letters to writers/musicians I admire. And I think I will, it's just unlikely they'll respond. So, I'm also going to write 100 words a day, whether a ton of poems, or something else. I think I'll do 100 words a day in Burden, that short story I'm turning into a novel. So, that's my plan, and it's very plan-like. May (hahahaha, get it, because, it's May?) you have a great day. :-)