Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Writing Wednesday!

Hey all! This week for Writing Wednesday, I'm going to post a chapter of  Titanium, and I'm also going to talk about my writing this year for a teeny bit.
First of all, please note on the side bar that I changed the schedule for the blog. Please comment if anything is unclear about it.
This year, I made a very specific goal about my writing. I get bored easily, and my family can vouch for this. So each month, I decided to write 10,000 words. but after the month is over, I switch to a new novel and write 10,000 words on that. But before you say "Silly Elsie, by the end of the year, you'll have 12 unfinished novels." I'm going to stop you there. I'm not stupid. In January, I'm going to be working a book called Questions, about a girl named Carissa, and a boy who's been haunting her dreams for all her life, Liam, and a courious place called the Nothing. This next month, February, I'm going to work on a novel called Mirror. It's about a girl named Crystal, a princess, and her emotional fight with her magical powers and her father. THen in March, I'll write in a book called Names, and I'll post a synopsis later. Then in April I'll go back to Questions again, and the story will be fresh. Then the month after that on the Mirror again. And so on. But now, with no further ado, Chapter 4 of Titanium. :-)

Chapter 4- Tara
Back Home
We continue to fall through the darkness, and this time I’m more aware of what is happening. The fall isn't actually falling, really. It’s hard to explain, more like floating. But really, really fast. Slowly, the black turns to brown. And the brown to blue. And the blue separates into green, forming the grass. Then, in the time it takes for me to blink, I hit the ground. Luckily, J breaks my fall. I look up, roll off J, and see I’m on the little hill behind Aunt Lillian’s house. The very same one I called my father from only a few hours ago. I take in a deep breath, my heart beating fast and my head feeling light. Incredibly cliché, but it seems like ages ago. I sit on the green, green grass and look at J.
“This is your house?” He asks in marvel, rubbing his probably sore neck. I shake my head.
“Um, No.” THe thought of only me and my father living in this big farmhouse seems so unreal and scary.
This is my cousin’s house.” I gesture to the property, then put my hands firmly back in my lap.“I live in an apartment in Minnesota.” J frowns. “You have no idea where that is.” I realize, thinking how weird that is. He nods and I try to latch on the a thought.
“What do we need to do next?” J asks, sounding as lost as I am.
“I don’t know. My aunt will tell me I’m crazy, or worse, believe me. She’s probably worried enough as it is.” J nods.
“You have a cousin, or…?” He sounds really lost, almost like he’s regretting helping me, like he wants to go back home to whatever home and life he had. I nod, very slowly.
“I-um, don’t know if he would believe me.” J put his hand on my shoulder, looking like he’s hoping what he’s going to say is right.
“You can make him believe you.” He sounds so sure it hurts my heart. How could someone I don’t even really know have more faith in me then I do?
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
I stand in front of the door, my knuckles all ready to knock on James’s door. Less than  a centimeter from the door, they stop.
“I can’t do it.” I whisper. “Brain Monkey? Now would be a good time to call me stupid and tell me what to do.” I wait a second. “Nothing.” I take a deep breath and knock. In a moment, James opens the door, his eyes widening when he sees me.
“You!” He exclaims. “Where were you? Where’s Uncle- er, your dad?” He rushes to assure me he wasn't worried. “Not that I care, but mom was freaked out.” I nod, trying not to get mad or cry.
“’Course not. James, I need your help. It’s important.” James frowns so deep he looks 5 years older.
“With what?” His voice has an edge, but he sounds kind of scared.
“Um, I can’t tell you. I have to show you.” James mouth opens to deny my favor, but I cut him off. “James, I need you to trust me. Please. I know you have no reason to trust me at all. I know I was a jerk to you, just for something you didn't do, but I was foolish and mean. I’m sorry. ” I hold up my thumb for a ‘Thumb Tap’ like we used to when we were kids. He stares at my thumb, sitting there in the air, looking ridiculous and sad, the empty space between our friendship. Then he brings the space to a close. I let out a shaky breath and wipe an idle tear from my eye, trying not to let more tears break out.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
“So, when you call your dad’s number, it will bring us to an alternate dimension?” James asks skeptically. I nod. He opens his mouth, looking at me like I’m crazy.
“Before you deny it, I’m just going to dial.” I say, opening up my phone to my contact list. James nods.
“Wait. But who is this guy?” He asks, pointing at J. “Your boyfriend?” I blush and shake my head.
“That’s, uh, J. I met him in Arret.” I say. James opens his mouth, grinning slyly. “He’s not my boyfriend.” James closes his mouth and shakes his head like he wasn't going to say anything. I roll my eyes, but secretly grin inside, because James and I are getting along. We are. “Alright.” I say, taking James’s hand and preparing to take J’s. I take a deep breath and press Send. I grab J’s hand, and with the phone between our palms. And I turn to look at James just in time to see his terrified face. Then, we fall into the portal. Falling for the first time is so much more terrifying than the third. In fact, to me, it’s even almost beautiful. But James looks frozen in fear, his body tense and rigid, and his face with so much terror that it scares me whether he’ll be okay. I can only imagine what J felt when he found me. So when we land, I don’t even look at J. I look over at James to see if he’s alright. When he sees me looking at him, all he says is;
“You were right.” Some color returns to his face, enough to make him look alive. “You were right.” I nod and stand up, reaching my hand out to help him up. As he stands, pull him into a hug. I don’t look at him, but I hear quiet sobs into my shoulder. I know we should be doing something, anything, but I don't. I just stand there. After James composes himself, I look at J for what I guess the first time since we landed.
“Alright, James. This is J.” James sticks his hand out and J shakes it. James gives J the evil eye.
“You taking care of my cousin?” J frowns.
“I hope so, James. I don’t really know her.”
“Uh-huh. Is that what Tara would say?” J’s frown deepens, and then he breaks out laughing. James nods approvingly, and then laughs along with him. I just stand there, very confused.
“Uh, hello? Hate to interrupt your bro moment, but I need info.” Both of the boys stop smiling and stand up straight, back in business, these two. My cousin, and I, newly united, and a new friend, giving up anything he ever had.
“Right… so where are we?” James asks.
“Arret.” J answers right away. “My home.” I nod.
“My guess is an alternate dimension.” I say. “I somehow got here when I called dad, err, Uncle Joseph, err... Never mind. Everyone knows.” James nods.
“So, what need so happen?" He asks. "And J,” James turns to J, frowning. “Where do come in? What do you get out of this?” J shrugs.
“I don’t- don't, um, have anything, and Tara needed help. I figure the least I can do is help. My parents-" he stops short, his eyes empty yet full of pain. “My parents were… not nice people.” J swallows. “And…” I shake my head.
“You don’t have to tell us anything else if you don’t want to.” J nods and rubs his neck. I shake my head and look at James, marveled beyond marvel at how he’s keeping his cool.
“So… J? Weird but probably helpful question.” James says suddenly. J nods. “Who is the most… evil person… yes I know that sounds weird… the most evil person in Arret?” J looks perplexed.
“Our ruler, killer, and torturer.” James shudders. I nod.
“It’s as good a lead as any. What’s his name?” J looks at me.
“Joseph Lexton.” All of a sudden I feel faint.

“No, no, no.” I whisper. I look up at James’s face. He looks black and white, as if my vision is breaking. “This can’t be.” Then, I can’t speak anymore. It can’t be possible. And it can’t. I know it can't. Nothing is able to make this possible. Because I know that name. I know it better then anything else in the world. I know it because Joseph Lexton is my father.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Blood in the flames

Back and forth. Up and down. Doesn't stop. Doesn't rest. Doesn't stop. A candle doesn't complain, doesn't speak. It burns, but it sheds light. It shines a little haze around you as I stare into your eyes.
"Please." I plead. "I don't have anywhere else to go." You shake your head. I shake all over.
"No." You say. "I can't trust you again." There is hurt in your voice, pain. I have inflicted on you. I have taken a knife and driven it into your heart. And I have dropped the blood into your candle flame. I nod my head to you.
"I wouldn't help me either." I say, my words emptier then this cloudless night. I gently clasp my hand around her wrist for a moment. "Have a good life, my... friend." And I don't say my love. I don't deserve to call you that. I deserve to be killed just like they will as soon as they find me. I stand there in front of you as you shed a few tears, as you put a hand up to shield the flame from the wind. Then you go inside. And I'm alone. I turn around, running up the hill to where the moonlight is strongest. And I cry. And I scream. And I weep. For you. Because I have hurt you. And now you have to see me die. And now I'm over, but I don't care. I hurt you. So I weep. I take my knife out of my pocket and dig it into my palm. The pain doesn't matter. The pain is welcome, it makes me forget. I hear a gasp behind me and turn around. You're standing there, candle in hand. I sob.
"What are you doing here?" I gasp out, trying to hide my bleeding hand. You run forward, your eyes wide.
"What did you do to yourself?" You set down the candle and take my hand in yours, trying to stop the bleeding with your shirt hem. I look at you with watery eyes.
"Why did you come back?" I ask you. "I hurt you." You look at me straight in the eyes, love shining through them like the moon.
"Why wouldn't I?" You say so simply.
"I hurt you." Is all I can say back. Instead of replying, you lean forward and kiss me on the lips. I close my eyes and savor your warmth. After you break away, I press my forehead to yours. You lean forward and whisper something in my ear so impossible it hurts. You whisper,
"I love you." You look me square in the eye. "I love you so much, I'm going to die with you." I gasp, a little gasp, all I can manage. You sit on the grass, gently pulling me down next to you. You pick up the knife and look at me. "Will you?" Is all you say, and I take the knife. You take a twin one out from your night gown and hold it in your shaking hand. And you plunge it into me. And mine into you. The pain doesn't matter, because I'm looking at you. I take my bloody hand in your smooth white one, tears streaming down my face as the pain run through me. You lean forward and kiss me one more time. One more time. I take a deep breath and look at the candle. shedding light. So bright,but when you touch it, it burns. One more time. I look back at you one last time, and then you fall to the ground with me.

Forever.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Dead Heart

Is this what you meant when you said you'd never leave?
I think what you meant is you had lies up your sleeve
Messing with my head and making me believe
All you ever did is make break and device

Falling down and dragging up
That's all I know anymore
Living low forgetting love
Zero's my Score

If I gave you my hear would you just drop it on the ground?
Just walk away is if It'd never made a sound
Would you bow your head
And make a prayer over my dead name?
Or would you just walk away as everything was the same?
As if you never knew the name
Of my dead heart

Is this what you meant when you said that you loved me?
I think what you meant is that I would never see
I thought I had something I used to think could never be
Someone who could love me and hold me so dearly

Falling down and dragging up
That's all I know anymore
Living low forgetting love
Zero's my Score

If I gave you my hear would you just drop it on the ground?
Just walk away is if It'd never made a sound
Would you bow your head
And make a prayer over my dead name?
Or would you just walk away as everything was the same?
As if you never knew the name
Of my dead heart

Are you who you are when you're standing so close?
Or are you someone who wants to be the most?
I could give you anything if I tried I suppose
But my heart can't take one more re-open and re-close

Falling down and dragging up
That's all I know anymore
Living low forgetting love
Zero's my Score

If I gave you my hear would you just drop it on the ground?
Just walk away is if It'd never made a sound
Would you bow your head
And make a prayer over my dead name?
Or would you just walk away as everything was the same?
As if you never knew the name
Of my dead heart

If my heart were still beating
Would my name be worth repeating?
Would you even try
to say "Hello, Goodbye"
Or would you just pass me by

If I gave you my hear would you just drop it on the ground?
Just walk away is if It'd never made a sound
Would you bow your head
And make a prayer over my dead name?
Or would you just walk away as everything was the same?
As if you never knew the name
Of my dead heart

Falling down and dragging up
That's all I know anymore
Living low forgetting love
Zero's my Score


It's dead now.


Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Wednesdays are lazy days...

I forgot to find someone's story to post, so I'm going to post the beginning of my sister's novel, then send you off with the link to her blog. So... yeah.

PrologueMy unknown beginnings 
Ronald Williams clipped his ID badge onto his blue scrubs, he apparently had no qualms about what he’s about to do. He walks into the room of the sleeping girl. Her folder named her as Jenna Robin Greens, and it’s now three days until her second birthday.  
He pulled the syringe out of his scrubs, doubt gnawing inside him as he picked up the IV chord. Is money really worth the life of an innocent two year old girl? His gloved thumb pauses over the plunger, and he trembles as he tries to come to a decision. Was he willing to be responsible not only for this girl’s death, but the decline of her parent that was sure to come? No.  
He slipped the poisoned needle back into his pocket, his mind reeling as he tries to figure out how he can save her, and himself. He tossed the stolen ID onto the floor and pulled off the top part of his scrubs, and as the syringe rolled away, he revealed the grungy black t shirt beneath.  He skillfully disconnected poor Jenna from the IV, silently apologizing to her as he bundled her into the blue cloth. He ran out, avoiding the cameras, the poor life wrapped in the stolen uniform clasped to his chest… 
~ ~ ~ 
The sweet smile of the five year old who didn’t belong to him almost makes him guilty, but Ronald couldn’t succumb to that. His employers thought he had successfully hidden the body, and had given him a significant amount of cash for doing the deed. Even the elderly still want revenge. And though the Greens’ have now given up that their daughter will ever reappear, she is safe. And right now, the smile of the girl, who he called “Lyla, makes him look back without regrets. And when she called him “daddy” the joy that he thought would never be his fills him again. Maybe someday he’d tell her about her beginnings. Maybe someday. Ronald paused as he opened his door, the express mail from Montana which is handed to him filling him with a sense of dread he can’t explain. His hand trembled as he opened the letter. The news inside sent him to that box that he’d promised himself and Lyla that he’d never open. A box of things he really should have dumped in the ocean long ago. The letter announcing his parents’ death had affected him more than he felt possible, and he just wanted to feel happy again. As soon as the drug entered his system, he forgot. He forgot how much their death hurt him. He forgot how much he missed his family. He forgot how much he loved Lyla. But worst of all, he forgot the strong man who he was. 

She's good, isn't she? :D Enjoy, and go over and check out her blog! Good stuff there! http://symptomsofwritesanity.blogspot.com

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Falling

I close my eyes, feeling the moment in my mind.
The man is falling, still falling.
I don’t try to shake the image away anymore.
It never leaves anyway.
Falling...
          Falling...
                      Falling...
Down.
I open my eyes and she’s standing there. The one who pushed him. She stares intensely at him and I back at her.
“You killed him.” I say, my voice emotionless.
“No. I loved him.” I shake my head, screaming.
“No! I did. I was going to marry him.”
“You didn't deserve him.” She replies, her voice still even and detached.
“No. I didn't. But neither did you.” She shakes her head.
“Yes I did.” She says, as if the could be no other option.
“That’s why.” I say, and I walk away, feeling raw. So raw and unworthy. So unworthy of the man she killed. Why? Because she loved him. "I'm sure you loved him. Like you love a dog. Like you love food. Like you love-" I sob, looking at the moon, full just like the last time I saw him, just like when she pushed him off that cliff. "I miss you." I whisper. "I miss you like anything or anyone anyone in in this entire universe will or ever miss someone. And I'll never stop. I promise you. And she never wanted anything but someone to worship her. But I wish I had worshiped you like you did me. I'm sorry. I wish I would see you one more time, but I don't deserve it. I never will. And maybe someday I will, but I wish you the best of luck wherever you are." I look up at the sky. "Wherever you are up there."

I close my eyes, feeling the moment in my mind.
The man is falling, still falling.
I don’t try to shake the image away anymore.
It never leaves anyway.
Falling...
          Falling...
                      Falling...

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Chapter three!

Chapter three of my book, Titanium is ready! I only did a quick edit job because I was short on time, but I hope you enjoy...


Chapter 3- Tara
New Friends (I think.)
“I’m scared.” I whisper, admitting to myself, having no one else to admit it to.” I don’t know what to do.” My father is gone, maybe even dead. Somehow I got put into this strange world, made to trust someone who turned out to be unworthy of the trust that I put in him. I may as well just kill myself now. I think, as that boy, J shows up in the doorway. I turn away and look for another exit. He just stands there for a minute, as if he’s not sure what to do. After I give up my search for an exit and sit back in my chair, he takes a step forward.
“Look, I-“
“I don’t want to hear it.” I say coldly,I turning away and staring at the wall. I don’t care what he’s going to, he hurt me. Both physically, and mentally. I don’t know kind of person would just drag another person they just insulted into a café. I can’t do anything, with or without him. So why do anything with him? You’re being to sensitive, My Brain monkey, the little voice in my head that’s always telling me what I’m doing wrong.
“Tara.” He puts his hand on my shoulder, his voice intense. “I saved your life. That… um, sky? It might have taken you. And you don’t want to know what would happen to you if it did.” I don’t say anything, so he just says, “I can help you. If you want it, let me know.” Then he just walks out, through the front room, onto street. As he goes out the door, I jump up.
“J!” I yell, but he doesn’t hear me. That was dumb. I don’t even know what just happened, but that was an apology, and an offer for help. And you just sat there like an idiot. For once, I don’t say anything to my Brain Monkey, because it’s right. I am an idiot. This person who you don’t know, who you just told you wanted nothing to do with them, ever, just told you if you wanted to, he could help. Then he walked away. He didn’t push you one way or another, just let you be. I jump up and run out the door. I run down the sidewalk to where he stands. He just looks at me, not saying anything. I look deep into his eyes and see that they are purple. But not a girly purple, it’s purple closer to red. They seen to move and shift like a portal, like the sky that he saved me from.
Um, Tara? You were in the middle of accepting his apology. The voice comes back.
Fine. I tell my Brain Monkey.
“I forgive you.” I say. He just looks at me, staring intensely and confusedly. “And I trust you.” He nods.
“Thank you.” When he says it he gets a look on his face I’ve seen on my own many times before. The look that says; ‘I actually did something’ I could make a difference for once. And it makes me happy. He loves that he did something for me. And so do I.
“I should probably tell you… you know what I need help with.”
“Your father is missing.” He says, blushing a little. I frown.
“How do you know that?” I ask harshly. J blushes even more.
“You um, mumble real loud.” Now it’s my turn to blush.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” We stand there for a moment, letting my troubles seep back into me. How am I, along with a boy I barely know, supposed to save my father? Maybe I could get James to help me… But how can I get back?
“Even know I know the problem, it would be nice if you could, um, tell me how you got here and why you can’t get back.” I nod.
“Yeah. I can do that.” I feel tears coming. “I was in South Dakota, and…” I stop short when I see his bewildered look. He notices me noticing him and blushes.
“Sorry. Continue.” He says.
“Sure…” I take a deep breath. “I was um, there, and my dad had been gone all day. So I called him and left a message. Right after I hung up, I felt a weird sensation.” Tears fall down my cheeks, flooding my dry, worried, skin. “Then I was falling, and it was so dark.” Reliving the moment in my head burns like fire. “I fell for a long time, and then landed on the ground, knocked out. When I woke up, I was in this, um, field of ashes.” J takes a sharp breath in through the mouth, almost gasping. “Then I walked and walked and walked until I bumped into you.” J nods, looking worried. I don’t say anything, because I don’t know what I could say. So I just sit there. After a long time, he just says,
“Okay.” I frown.
“Okay?” He nods.
“Yeah.” He looks confused, like I’m crazy. I jump up.
“My father could be dead, and the only person I have to help me is you. And all you can is ‘Okay’?” J nods.
“I was just saying a general ‘okay’, as in, okay I understand this.”
Tara. Stop being so… prone to freak out.
Fine.
I nod my head and give a little smile.
“Okay.” I say. J grins.
“Okay?” He’s got one eyebrow raised, and he looks so amused and silly I can’t help but laugh. We both laugh for a while. He stops laughing first, and I follow soon after.
“Look, Tara.” J smiles a little at me. “I know you’re having a hard time, and you’re trusting someone you barely know. I’m glad you can laugh. Your laugh is beautiful.” How did this guy suddenly get so poetic?
You know nothing about him. Stop it.
I know, but I don’t have a choice but to trust him. What else can I do?
Nothing, I guess. but don’t judge him. Maybe he’s always very poetic.
I guess you're right, but I feel like I know him better than I normally do for someone I just met.
Are you saying this is fate?
Shut up.
“Thank you, J.” I sit down next to him. “So… plan?” J sits up and turns towards me. Oh my, Tara. My Brain Monkey says. The two of you, alone, sitting on a park bench. Alone. Be quiet, Brain Monkey. I say to myself.
“So you had just called your father… right?” J ventures. I nod. “After he had been gone all day?” I nod again, not sure what to say.
“So I called him on my phone… and left a message. After I left it, I started to hang up.” J massages his temples as if that will help him think. Right as I hung up… Right as…
“Right as I hung up!” I yell, my heart beating fast. J looks at me weird.
“What do you mean?”
“The phone!” I yell, jumping up and down. J’s face slowly breaks into a grin, and he too jumps up. He picks me up and spins me around yelling.
“It was the phone! It was the phone!” He puts my down and I reach into my pocket and grab my phone. I flip it open and press the redial button. My dad’s number shows up on the screen and a portal the same color as J’s eyes appears beneath my feet. I grab J’s hand, and together we fall into the darkness. Nothingness. All I feel is nothingness. But this time I’m not alone.

Friday, January 10, 2014

All about "Me"

Sooo sorry I didn't post lately, I was working on a project this week! Next week, HOPEFULLY, (If not the week after) I'm going to post a cover of a song. (There will be a poll on the side of my blog soon.) So... yeah. I'm going to post a song I threw together last minute, so... enjoy?

All about "Me"


I get up and walk away
Your ego moves to take my former place
It’s bigger than a mountain twice it’s size
If you blew up it would be no surprise


You thought I was gone
When I was next to you


You said I was wrong
Well it’s not that true


You think you're cooler than me
You think you’re all I see
You think you’re sent from above
To be my one true love
But can’t you see
You think it’s all about “Me”


I sat down you looked away
I cried tried to throw out my dismay
Your head in the clouds above my bed
Haunting my dreams with dread


You thought my love was gone
when I held it out to you


You think you're cooler than me
You think you’re all I see
You think you’re sent from above
To be my one true love
But can’t you see
You think it’s all about “Me”


You
You
You
Can’t be about
Me
Me
Me
Why can’t you
See
See
See
It’s not about you anymore
Try to throw out the scoreboard


You think you're cooler than me
You think you’re all I see
You think you’re sent from above
To be my one true love
But can’t you see
You think it’s all about “Me”

All about “Me”

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Chapter two!

Sorry everyone, about not posting in forever. I feel super duper bad. BUT I finally did all the major re-writes on Chapter two of Titanium, and I'm posting it! So... YAY! I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 2- J
Beginnings and Endings
I roll over and groan. I open my eyes then I remember, once again, just like every other morning in my life for the past few years, that I’m in an alleyway. I could never get used to sleeping on the rough ground, or waking up on concrete, even after so long. I sit up and survey my surroundings. After grabbing my few belongings, I slowly get up and creep to where the alley meets the street. No one there. I look up at the rising sun in the sky and say a short prayer to whatever force of the universe is listening. I reach into my pocket and pull out a red gem a little bigger than my palm. I see my deep vortex purple eyes in it’s uncut surface, and my messed up black hair gleaming like silk.
“J.” I say. I look deep into the vortex of red. “I am J.” I slip the gem back in my pocket and start on my way. I style my thin, oily, black hair back to a mostly tame style in a store window reflection. I sweat over the meeting. If this doesn’t goes well,I could be gone. RIght now they just think I’m a homeless person. Alright, J. I think. Remember, you have style. You ooze style. You are swagger. You define swagger. You- Suddenly, I bump into a girl with red hair. It’s in a messy ponytail, and her smooth green eyes look worried. Her eyes, like pools of green water, more beautiful than any eyes I’ve ever seen. Like an Ocean. I think. Blue and green, mottled together, white waves along the shore. All of a sudden, I realize I’m staring into her eyes. I take a deep breath.
“Hi. “ I say. She franticly picks up her bag and phone, which she dropped when I bumped into her, shaking and looking more terrified. I decide the least I can do is trying and cheer this girl up.
“What? Never been to Arret?” I sweep my hand around to indicate this place, Arret that is drowning in evil. The girl looks horrified.
“Where the Heck is Arret?” She screams. I take a sharp breath in through the mouth.
“You mean you’ve never been here before?” I ask slowly, confused. She screams and practically flings herself onto a bench, starting to cry.
“I have no idea how I got here.” She manages to get out. I have no idea what to do. She starts mumbling “Where are you dad? Where are you?” over and over. Finally I say,
“Listen, I have a meeting to get to, but if you need help, I can meet you here after it. It’ll be done in about… an hour and a half. What’s your name?” he looks up at me.
“Tara.” She hurls the word at me like an insult.
“I’m J.” I say, trying to keep my temper. “Nice to meet you, Tara.”
I smile at her and walk away. I know it wasn’t nice, but I don’t know what else I could have done. Right now, tell myself, you need to focus on this meeting. Yet, I knew, as I walked away, that I should be helping the girl.
I sit in the cushioned chair in the waiting room, bouncing my knee so fast, it’s throbbing. A tall woman in heels comes out. She seems unimpressed by me. I stand up and shake her hand.
“I’m here about the man- The one who said the, um, government of Arret wanted to- um, talk to me?.” She nods quickly and curtly. “I’m J.” She raises an eyebrow.
“Your given name is J?” I shake my head, surprised, but not that surprised at her bluntness.
“My actual name um, is Jahleel, but I go by J, normally. But if…” She holds her hand up.
“What’s your last name?” I take in a quick, deep breath.
“Um, I- I don’t know.” She frowns.
“Lying will not do you good.” I nod.
“Yes mam, I know.” I say shakily. I tap my sweaty hands on the side of the chair.
“I need your birth certificate.”
“I-I-” I begin.She whirls around.
“You may go now.” She says, her voice way more level than I expected. “ I think we have exactly what we need.”
“I-” I take a deep breath. “Are you sure?” She nods, and I slowly walk towards the door.
“Scold yourself all you want just remember not to do it again.” I tell myself for the umpteenth time. I walk over to the park bench and see that the girl-Tara-isn’t there.
So much for helping that girl. My annoying Brain Monkey tells me.
“Yeah, yeah, I hear you.” I say into the wind. “I know… the world is wrong unless I do exactly what you say.” I hear a little cough and a shaky breath .I turn around and standing there- Tara.
“I...” I say, starting to explain. She doesn’t say anything, just walks past me and towards the café on the corner. I open my mouth and close it again. When she’s farther away, I curse to the wind behind me. Then I run towards her, hoping I can fix this. Suddenly, the sky turns from bright blue… to a terrifying deep red.
“No!” I yell. “Not now!” But the sky rudely continues to cloud for another Taking. I scream, frustrated, and run towards the crying girl I barely know. She’s standing on the edge of the curb, staring at the sky. I try not to think about how beautiful she is and drag her away as she screams at me some not very nice things. I try to ignore her. Finally, we’re inside the Café and I put the kicking and screaming woman on the couch. She looks terrified and I can’t help but think what she’s thinking right now. We sit in the screaming science until I say;
“Look, I-“
“No!” She screams. “I thought…” She wipes her eyes, taking a deep breath, and starts again. “I needed help… but... you don’t care.” I sit there, not saying anything, for a long time until Tara screams so loud my ears ring.  She screams at me with what must be the last of her strength these words-
“MY FATHER COULD BE DEAD AND YOU DON’T CARE!!!” She screams and slaps me on the cheek and rushes out of the room, into a lounge area. I want to feel mad, but don’t know if I am even capable right now. All I can do is sit there and mutter,
“I saved your life. I did.” I reach into my pocket and touch them rough cold surface of my gem. “J Clark saved your life.” But how could I tell her? How could I tell her anything? Where to start where to end…
I was born into the traitorous house. I don’t know the details exactly, and hopefully never will, but both of my parents were arrested before I was 10. I did not legally exist until I was put into an orphanage. I ran away 2 months after that, but not before burning all the documents they had on me. When I turned 12, they discovered me. They are an organization to track down people who have escaped the “law”. The law was created by a man named Joseph Lexton. They discovered I existed and tried to fix that. I escaped them, and have been living on my own for three years, hiding in alleys and eating food people leave behind, and getting food from stores whenever possible. In that time, Lexton moved up the totem pole, became what they called the “Scientist”, which means pretty much no one knows he exists, and he puts on “experiments” on innocent people. In all the time he was being pampered and changing the world to be his own, I was dying. Three times a week, Lexton would execute what’s called a Taking. At a taking, one man and one woman would be taken to his spaceship in the sky and tested and probed and finally, if they lived through that, killed. I don’t know for sure, but I think that this revolting process is what happened to my parents. My parents. I never really got to know them, they were gone so much as I was a child, and now I’ll never get to. I wanted to make a difference to someone. I thought that that someone would be this girl, Tara. I see her now, out of the corner of my eye, crying and unsure. I don’t know anything about her, just that she is very lost. And that she is missing someone she loves, her father. Should I go after her, or leave her alone and try to move on with life? Maybe the answer will reveal itself. I think hopefully. But I know full well that this is decision I have to make on my own. No “Force of the universe” is going to come and tell me what I should do.
“No lucky breaks this time.” I whisper. Then, I hear Tara in the other room, whispering to herself. 
And I hear her whisper,
“No kidding yourself this time, Tara.” She’s holding her necklace, clutching it like some sort of life force. “There will be no lucky breaks.” And right there, I make my decision.

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