April Writing Project- Day one!

Hi all!

I'm starting my writing project (As described here.) A day early so it can be at the begining of a month. If you want to continue reading If an Immortal died I'm going to be posting it on my Wattpad. (You can also find the link in the sidebar.) every so often, as well as some other writing, possibly even some stuff never seen on my blog. *sly look*

So today's prompt is a picture that I found on Pinterest. It inspired this story.

I see both of them. Sitting there. Pam crying into her hands, Sam listening to music and looking out the window. I wish I could do something, not just sit there frozen. But both of them are right next to each other on this train, and they don’t even know it. I clutch my hands together, my left covering my right and then switching my left covering my right. I take a deep breath, wondering why they’re going away. Probably for the same reason as me. To get away from where it all happened.

I’m sure they both blame me for the whole thing. After all, I introduced them. So it must be my fault. It’s of course my fault that they insisted they were in love, it’s my fault that Sam insulted Pamela’s parents, or that Pam ran away for a week when she was mad at him. That of course is all chopped up to me. I still don’t know why this whole thing even happened, it’s my fault. But that’s how people’s minds work. Blaming someone else. Except mine.

Ever since I was a kid, I could see answers to things people didn’t know, the logical answer. What should happen. Why people felt things I never understood, why someone would cry for no reason. Why someone would not see that it’s better to take the stairs then the elevator. But that’s the way I am, and I didn’t see anything different.

Until I met Pam, who I would describe as the most normal person I know. With her perfect blonde hair, blue eyes always lined with pink eyeliner, and always wearing a red dress or leopard print. I always took it for granted that she wouldn’t get me. Because I was the corner girl, the one with weird stories and an electric guitar. And a blog no one read. But one day, she sat right down at my empty table at school and opened her mouth. And she began to talk to me, and didn’t seem to stop. Her voice filled me, always replaying in my mind. She was suddenly one of my friends. And I never quite was able to come up with a logical explanation why.

Sam was one of my only friends. We had apartments next to each other as kids, so he was like my twin brother. Artistic, free-flowing, someone I never quite got along with. So when I introduced Pam to him, I didn’t really know what would happen. But Sam was jealous of the populars and wanted to be known. So when Pam started using her moves on him, he took them right up as if they were a newly discovered Beethoven piece. I went along with it, secretly disproving, but when it all went south, I couldn't help but say I told you so. Because Sam makes decisions on the fly, telling someone exactly what he thinks and when things he doesn't want happen, he locks himself away and won’t communicate. So Pam ran off and did the same.

I haven’t seen either of them for months, and now it’s like a blast of water on the face to see them, back to back, facing opposite directions. It makes so much, sense, because it’s so true. They never saw eye to eye, and I never understood why Pam was there anyway. But things like the three of us here on accident, seems like the odds are it isn’t an accident. I stand up.

“Pamela? Samuel?” I say, my voice only a little shaky. Pam looks over at me, her face covered in tears, her eyes searching around the car for the second name I called. She glances behind her an gasps. Sam is still there, listening to his headphones and mouthing the words silently. Tears start streaming down her face, tracked with mascara, breaking through ehr mascara.

“S-Sam?” Her eyes are full of tears. “It can’t be--” I shake my head.

“Of course it is, Pam. Can’t you see?” She shakes her head.

“It’s not possible. Because I gave him up.” I shake my head.

“You ran away.” Pam sits down again, sipin her eyes with her sleeve, and I feel like I can see all the memories going through her mind. The first date I set them up on, making sure Sam bought her roses. Pam and Sam, Pam and Sam, Pam and Sam, echoing through all the gossip. The gossip works, as always. Why would he even pretend to love him? Pamuel: The talk of the school. The Headlines. “Oh my goodness.” I whisper. Pam looks at me, her eyes big. “It was for publicity! You were never even my friend, or his!” I feel emotion rising up in me, stronger than it’s ever been. “And I thought it was a change of hear.t I should have seen the facts.” I sit down, and don’t even glance at Sam. Because we didn’t leave on good terms, either.

He told me, plainly as he ever has in his life, that i was a problem, that my brain didn’t work like a human. Like I wasn’t one, because of course I’m not. It can’t be his fault, because I was supposed to know the facts. He told me everything I am and ever will be is fake. And i couldn’t tell him anything except that he was wrong. Four months have passed now we’re all trying to run away from this. Maybe you can’t run away problems. Maybe they come back to bite you. Maybe, I’m wrong sometimes. Everyone is sometimes. But I’m not often.

Now here we all stand, ignoring each other, all of us hurt. Neither Pam or I talked to Sam. We didn’t say his name, didn’t say a word to him. But I know I’m right about Pam and her publicity. Being the biggest, everyone knowing that ‘she’s not just Covergirl material, she cares.’ That’s an actual line from an article I read last month. ‘too bad this school’s best romance is over forever...or is it?’ I stare right at both of them, Pam not even trying to make  any kind of eye contact, Sam somehow noticing I’m here. I take a deep breath and stand, stretching a little. Then, as the train slows and the driver announces that we're taking a stop in a tiny town, I touch Sam’s shoulder, then do the worst and most cruel thing I will ever do. I point to Pam, and then get off the train.

Stuff...And things. O_o

I'm about done with If an Immortal died for now. It's at 8.7k so I thought I'd start something else, and give you an update on what's in store for next month's writing, and the future!

• I will not be doing my 10k in one novel. Instead, I'm going to put together lots and lots and lots and loads of short stories using my writing prompt board and my picture inspiration board on Pinterest. I will post them here every Monday and Wednesday. (One or more a day, plus the prompt or picture that inspired it.) Hopefully, that will add up to at least 5k, but we'll see.
• I will be posting some writing tips every Thursday for the next month, some from me, some things I found online. I know I have a few writer's out there who follow my blog, so get ready to try and understand my process.
• I might add some new projects, but I'm trying to pace myself this month. I'm saving up for a tablet to have more time to write, because right now the only choice I have is using the family computer, and that's not really working so well. :-P
• This SUMMER I will be beginning my YouTube music project. I will cover some songs, and eventually post some originals I wrote. :-) So get exited! I am. That'll be sometime this summer, as I said.
• Since I'm jumping forward super far, I just thought I'd tell you I will be participating in NaNoWriMo again this year. 

So there you have it. That's me for the next few months. :-) I'll leave you with a short story snippet thing I wrote a bit ago.

In my dreams, I see words. They float around, just out of my reach. I wonder what they say, what story they tell. What lesson they teach. But even as I more forward to reach them, they pull back, not wanting to come out. A secret running away from it’s keeper. But when I wake, I feel them. I can almost hear them. The words. They fall upon me, begging to break out onto the blank page of my notebook. But then, I fall to the ground, defeated by the words. Because the words are too strong. Too powerful. But still, beautiful and fair. And though I know if I go any closer, run for them, I will fall. Because gorgeous as they are, they are deadly. They will kill me when the story comes to an end. Because all words have a beginning and an end, but the end is always more brutal. For the end, is when the story’s heart stops beating, and when it does, it takes a piece of my soul with it.

(Taken by the amazing Willa Nicole)

If an Immortal died- Chapter 3- Part 3

They lead me down  long hall, and my heart beats faster with every step. I wonder who this mysterious Jarek is, and why everyone, including the ever calm and loving Alaric. I keep trying to focus my eyes on the winding halls of ivory and gold, with pillars of pure light and color.I sigh at the wonder of all this, and try to figure out how I’m still calm. I wonder if Alena whispered a word to me to help. Somehow, that makes me feel angry. I clench my fists and wait for us to arrive, still soaking everything in as much as I can. I’m lead through brass doors with vine entangled designs of men and women flying, writing, singing, and even fighting. Alaric opens the doors with a gentle current of air.I shiver and gasp as they lead me out into the huge sunroom, with glass ceilings everywhere, letting patterns of rainbow light come through a burrow of trees, shining down onto the silver floor, pillars of stone keeping up the high ceiling. I stumble on the smooth ground, falling and hitting the metal on the ground hard. I sigh and stand up again, not waiting for someone to help me up. I glance around the beautiful room one more time, then follow Alaric and the others out, sighing to myself. Again. Alaric leads the way. From what I can tell, if he Jarek is the boss, Alaric is second in command. Everyone follows him and pretty much does everything he says. I feel a hand on my shoulder and suddenly see the Heather’s grae next to an oak tree, and me crying, as if from afar, and I gasp.I see Alaric opening the car door and me flying upwards and through some sort of film over the sky, and then landing next to a palace, large and fair. My eyes fly open. I don’t even realize they were closed, and I whip around, pushing the women behind my onto the ground.

“What.” I say. “Was that?” I feel full of rage all of a sudden and can’t breathe properly. Reneta puts a hand on my shoulder and I feel calmer. I look at er and she smiles a little.

“That was Nenita. She’s the Goddess of memory and thought.” I take a deep breath and nod, understanding what’s going on. I turn back towards everyone after shaking hands with Nenita. She has violet eyes and african looking skin, with long luxurious black hair in loose curls. Her face looked snarky and arrogant. But I suppose if I knew everyone’s memories and thoughts I would be that way too. Reneta comes and takes Nenita’s hand whispering something in her ear. Nenita nods and glances at me for a moment, before whispering something back into Renata's ear. I wonder what they’re saying, but try not to dwell on it. We leave the wonderful room, going through a small door that leads to a long simple corridor, that reminds me of one of a hotel. I frown a little. The rest of the palace has been extremely extravagant and grand. But now, there’s just a red and brass vase with fake flowers in it, a top a maple-wood table, and simple geometric carpet in similar colors. THe ceiling is the popcorn kind, with little spikes like they had in the seventies to cover up defects in the concrete that always pops little kid’s balloons. I stare at it, confused and turn to Reneta and Nenita, ready to ask why it’s like this.

“Jarek.” Nenita says before I can even open my mouth. “This is his space.” I nod, pretending I understand. I wonder how Nenita knew what I wa going to say, and wonder if she can still reach my mind and read it. I shiver. Ever since she showed up, Reneta won’t look at me. I felt a connection with Renata, someone who can give and understand the calmness of my pain right now. And I wonder if anything I'm feeling right now is real. I wonder if maybe Alena whispered words of calm to me and Reneta made me feel happy. If Nenita put fake memories in my head so that I would help them. And if Alaric wanted them to. But who would tell if it was true? So I keep my mouth shut and just that dark thought seep into my heart. If Nenita an see it and tell everyone, I don’t care. Not one bit. Because if she can read what I think and want, she has every right to it. People are given a power for a reason. And if she has it, who am I to tell her not to use it? A piece of sense in the back of my mind tells me that I need to not think like that, but I don’t listen. I push it further back and pay attention as Alaric knock on the door at the end of the hallway. I still try my best to forget that I don’t want to be here, and wonder why that didn’t come up before. I feel more sure with every second we wait for Jarek to open his door that these people are using me and that I don’t even really want to be here. I take a deep breath just as Jarek opens the door and can’t let it out once he opens the door. He’s over seven feet tall, with a black beard and deep, sad, brown eyes. He looks mildly upset by the fact that they’ve bothered him. I feel like seeping into a non-existent shadow in this well lit corridor.

“Who is this?” He asks, his voice pleasant but a little edgy. Alaric and all the others bow. Jarek looks slightly pleased and nods. They all stand and I have a feeling I should have been bowing, too. I feel my heartbeat quicken and bow my head down, getting on one knee for a moment. Alaric glances at me for a moment and then begins to talk in a low voice to Jarek. Reneta, Alena, and Nenita begin to shift back on forth on their feet, feeling awkward as I do. Finally, Jarek and the man who said he loved me and lied turn around towards all of us, and I feel myself leaning forward, wondering what is in store for me, because all I can do right now is breathe and “Go with the flow”. Jarek opens his mouth to speak, but then Alaric falls to the ground, snoring loudly. Everyones eyes widen when they see a young boy, probably around eighteen or nineteen, standing there, a sly smile lifting up the corner of his lips. He has piercing blue eyes, black curly hair oily on the top of his head, ending at the nape of his neck. I can’t say I’m not amused to see the distinguished Alaric snoring, but I’m too focused on the handsome boy above him.

“Gunnar.” Jarek says, sounding angry. “I thought you were with Spana in Latiquontitte.”  He shakes his head.

“I’ve been out exploring the past three nightfalls, and no one noticed.”  He seems pleased by everyone’s responses, gasping and froing, and Go to your bed. I smile at his arrogance, smiling at how he reminds me of Heather. I suddenly feel a pang again and my smile melts off of my face. It’s too early to think about her. To think about Heather. Gunnar walks up to me, smiling a little.

“Who’s this?” I smile at him.

“I’m Cvita.” He raises his eyebrows.

“Mortal, I assume? You don’t have the annoying silky black hair.” He says the last part to mock seduction, letting his eyelids flutter closed for a moment. I laugh and nod.

“Mortal as they come.” Gunnar shakes his head.

“That can’t be true.” He grins mischievously. “You’ve got this lovely fair hair, and these awesome colored blue and green like the sea.” I giggle, humoring his flirtatious attitude. I glance at Alaric, who’s starting to wake up and sees me teasing.

“You’re Gunnar, I assume?” Gunnar nods and bows with a flourish.

“Yes. That would be right. The only son of a Mortal and an Immortal. My mother is Spana, the goddess of sleep.” He leans towards my ear, putting a hand on my shoulder and I tense up.

“She also,” He whispers, leaning in very close, “Has black silky hair.” I laugh loudly, and everyone begins to stare at us with more intensity. But it feels good to forget and laugh. Jarek helps Alaric stand and glares at Gunnar.

“Gunnar inherited his mother’s power to put people to sleep, and his father’s to be very...Mortal.” I try to ignore the pointed comment about Mortals, but it seeps deep into my heart anyways, lodging itself in my memories. Jarek sets his hand on Gunnar’s shoulder, staring intently into his eyes. “Go to your bed. And stay there, until Spena gets back.” Gunnar nods absently and turns and goes down the hallway. Jarek turns back to me, putting a hand out. I shake it and feel weak all of a sudden. “I am Jarek, God of war, leadership, movement, and stamina.” And then, I fall to the ground, unconscious.

If an Immortal died: Chapter 3: part 2

Alaric opens the door to my car and I step in. Alaric closes the door gently and comes around the other side of the car. I unlock the door and motion for him to get him. He sighs and straps his seatbelt on. I turn the car on again and turn to Alaric. “Where to?” I ask. Alaric looks at me, a mysterious glimmer in his eyes.

“Close your eyes.” I take a deep breath and bite my lip, ignoring the urge to say no. But I let my eyelids flutter closed, and I feel a motion, as if I’m lifting. I shut my eyes tighter, both of my hands clenching my jaw and my fists. I feel like I’m rocking back and forth, and up and down, and in diagonals and I’m not even moving at all. I hear voices outside and a light shines in front of my eyes. I still keep my eyes closed, telling myself to breathe and not throw up, which are the things I’m having the most trouble with right now. Finally, everything stops. And I feel someones hand on my shoulder. I hear a woman’s voice whisper in my ear a latin word.

“Sopor.” and I’m gone.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

When I wake up, I feel as if I’m more rested than I’ve ever been. I see Alaric standing over me, many other men and women in tribal looking clothes. Alaric smiles weakly, putting a hand out ot help me sit up.

“How long was I asleep?” I ask, expecting the answer to be days or more.

“Five minutes.” Alaric says. He nods to a woman next to him, with deep brown eyes and black silky hair. “This is Alena. She is the goddess of words.” I nod, suddenly understanding, and my head supplying the correct latin word that she spoke to me.

“Sopor. It means deep sleep.” I put a hand over my mouth, it’s touch comforting me somehow. “i don’t know latin.” Alena nods.

“It’s the palace. You’ll get used to it.” She turns around, whispers, “Veni Renata” And a tall, regal women appears a few seconds later, with blue grey eyes and black hair, blocks of it in red highlights. Alena turns to me, and Alaric says,

“This is Reneta, the goddess of pain and emotion.” I nod and put my hand out, and Renata shakes it. I suddenly feel a pang in my heart and resist the urge to pull my hand back. Renata  smiles weakly and takes her hand back.

“Sorry. I have that effect on people.” I nod, letting light seep back into me.

“It’s...Fine.” I whisper. “That was kind of amazing, actually.” I look down at my hand for a moment, seeing paths of blue and red and purple where it crosses over where Reneta had touched me. I make myself breathe out. I look up at Reneta. “Thank you.” Reneta nods slowly.

“Sure.” I nod again, rubbing my palm rhythmically. We all stand there in silence, until finally, I speak up. “So I know I intruded on all your godly life and stuff, but I am in serious need of answers. One of my best friends just died, and I’ve been told it’s ‘part of something bigger’, but I have no idea. I want something, someone to tell me what I need to do.” Alaric glances worriedly at me for a second before staring intensely at his-- are they his siblings?-- for a moment, and they at him. Alena takes my hand, and I feel like I could tackle any book, win any intellectual test.

“We need to take you to Jarek.” I shake my head, unsure.

“O--okay?” I turn to Reneta, who I felt a sudden connection with as soon as I got here and she held my hand. “Who’s Jarek?” Reneta smiles a little, but there’s a little venom I don’t quite understand behind it.

“Our leader. And our older brother.” It seems innocent enough, but the way she said it scares me. I nod.

“All right.” I say, smiling a little. “Take me to your leader.”

If an Immortal could die: Chapter 3- part 1 (PLUS THE COVER!)

Chapter 3

At first, when he says it, I think he’s lying. But he was probably ready for that, because he pulls a closed envelope out of his pocket. I shake my head vigorously.

“No.” I say forcefully. “You’re lying.” I clench my hands into fists and tear my gaze away from him. “Just like you did before.” I throw at him. curling into a ball in my stiff leather seat of my car. I see him shake his head. slipping the envelope into my hands with a gust of wind. I feel the envelope get damp with sweat and wipe my hands on the front of my jeans. THen, taking as deep a breath as I can, I scroll up the window, shutting Alaric out, and slip my fingernail under the envelope flap, ripping it a little with my shaking hands. I’ve got shaky tears streaming down my face, I slip out an old looking paper. Sighing a little, I start to read, my eyes misty with tears. Because I know it’s her. It’s her handwriting. Her old jokes I was always so sick of.

Cvita,

By the time you read this, you won't have any idea I’m gone. Alaric pulled some strings so you would have some time, because I know with Jake things are crazy. For the past three or so weeks, I have been a party animal, and you don’t know why. You’ve been secretly wondering, so secretly wondering, why I Suddenly changed. And you’ve been confused. I’m sorry. You probably blamed Alaric. That’s not fair for him. And don’t you throw this away right now, because I know that’s what you want to do. But just “Hear” me out, okay? I know who he is. I can’t write it here, but if you know, you’ll know what I mean. You need to listen to Alaric, help him. Some serious stuff is going to go down. and you need to be prepared. if you want to believe me, go to the little graveyard in the back of the garden. Go to the tree. You know what tree. I love you and miss you.

Heather

I choke out a sob, my hands shaking harder than they ever have before. Of course I know what tree. Whenever Heater and I would come here, to the garden, I would say ‘When I die, I want to be buried next to that big tree.” And Heather would laugh. I jump up, getting out of my car, and running over, through the garden, past the playgrounds, to the gated graveyard. I don’t even ask for someone from the park to open the gate. I just jump over the metal bars, and run to the edge of the gate with the huge oak tree, over-shading all the graves. I gasp, because the grave is right there. Her name. Set in stone. And I’m gasping, choking on my tears. I’m shaking my head. I don’t know what to do. Right there. Heather Olivia Carabello, May 1992-March 2014. And that’s all, but then, I circle to the back and see for words. For Cvita: I’m sorry. I fall down on the ground, upset with tears. I bite down on my lip, trying hard to stop, and feel my lip start to bleed. I swear and stand up, wiping the blood away quickly. I ignore the quiver in my knees as I stand, and stumble my way back to my car, where Alaric stands. I sigh and then, before I think about anything, run into his chest, putting my arms around him I feel his warm, soft, stiff, and caring arms circle around me, and he whispers,

“Do you believe me now?” I nod, feeling his ever-beating heart in my ear.

“ I do.” Those two words I know, are hard for me to say right now. The last five minutes have been an emotional lifetimes worth of tears. I sigh and break away, not going to be the weak one anymore. Alaric lets go of me, and I let the cold wind push my hair back and make me cold. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, counting down from 10 to one. Then I open my eyes, ready to face this mission, whatever it is.

I don't own this picture. I got it from Pinterest and edited it.

WWHHHAAATTTTTT????!!

So , you know how I posted a little over a week ago all like "Wow we're at 1.5k views"? (If not, you know the drill. CLICK.) I just wanted to say, I have 100 more views since then. So now's when I get sappy and thank a ton of people. :-D

• My friend from TN, Willa. She recently linked ot my blog and I got two more followers. :D Thanks, Willa! :-) <3
• Another writing friend of mine, someone I met online, Maddie Lee. She's the bomb. She's encouraged me all the time, and me her. Love ya, Mads!
• My Sister and Best friend, Moriah, who told me I should start this blog. It's lots of fun, and I'm glad you had me do it. We started blogging again at the same time, and even thought I don't always read your blog posts, and you're too  busy to read mine all the time, I'm glad I have a sister who loves me this much. :-)

So, yeah. Sappyness over. Thanks. You may return to your regular blog reading.

If an Immortal died: Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I wake in the morning with a monster headache and too many unanswered questions. I drag myself out of bed and get dressed for work. I apply a little bit of makeup, and grab my jacket. Before work, I need to see someone. someone who knows what I’m going through. I take a deep breath and flip my phone open, speed dialing my sister, Sophia. She picks up after the second ring and I sigh.

“What’s up, Vita?” I smile a little at the sound of my big sister's voice.

“Hey, Soph. I’m confused. You remember Alaric?” It seems I can feel her nod.

“The dork who dumped you because he thought he was all high and mighty?” I smile a little, but feel a pang inside my chest. I never told her about Alaric. I thought even one of my closest friends wouldn’t believe it. I sigh.

“I’m gonna tell you something a little bit crazy.” I hear her sigh.

“You didn’t--” She chortles a little. “You didn’t get back together with him, did you?” I shake my head very vigorously.

“Heck no.” i sit on my bed. “It’s crazier.” I hear her sigh again. My sister sighs at me a lot.

“Go ahead.” I plunge in.

“Alaric-was-a-god-and-that’s-why-he-left-me-because-he-was-studying-humans-or-some-kind-of-crap-like-that,and-now-Heather-told-me-he’s-dead-but-he's-an-Immortal-so-he-can’t-be.” I take a deep breath. I hear silence on the other end, and then another sigh. And then, finally;

“So he thought he was better then you because he was a god,or Immortal?” I suddenly feel like giggling.

“Yes.” I say, trying to sound exasperated, and failing. “So, what now? I’m seriously confused.”

“I think you need more sleep, and to just let this blow over, because you don’t know anything for sure right now.” I nod, glancing at the clock absentmindedly. I gasp. it’s 8:14, and I need to be at work by 8:30. I had slept later then I thought.

“Crap.” I mutter. “I need to get to work.” Sophia sighs.

“Late, again? Alright.” She says. “Do good work, Vita. Love you.” I smile.

“Love you too.” I hang up, drop my phone in my purse, pick it up, and rush to the kitchen to make lunch. I throw together a sandwich, put it in a plastic bag, and knock on my roommate's door.

“Heather? Wake up!” I turn the doorknob gently. “You have to leave for work in half an hour.” I agreed when I bought the apartment with Heather six months ago to wake her up for her job as a grocery store clerk every morning. I’ve been doing for so long it’s now part of my morning routine. Heather and I help each other out, we’re friends. I hear mumbling and groaning on the other side of the door and I know she'll be up any second. I briskly walk back into the kitchen, glancing backwards when I hear a door open behind me. I see Heather coming out, her hair in messy curlers and one side of her face creased by the sheet.

“You leaving?” she mumbles, stumbling into the kitchen. I nod and stride over to the door, feeling heavy on my feet.

“Yep. Don’t forget, I’m gonna be out late tonight.” It’s not a lie, I just sound like I think she knows. Heather turns around quickly.

“Why?” I roll my eyes, buying time to come up with a real lie.

“I thought you knew. I’m spending some time out with Jake.” Heather shrugs, accepting my lie quickly.

“Okay. See you tomorrow, then.” I nod and go out my car. as soon as I get there, I just jump in, and stare into the distance for a moment. I can’t just sit here and “Let everything blow over”, as Sophia asked me to, I need to do something. I need to-- I turn the key in the ignition and pull my buckle across my torso before I can change my mind. I need to find Alaric. I grab my phone and text my workplace, telling them I’m taking a personal day, and pull out, taking a deep breath and feeling ragged. I will find him. I will. I pay careful attention as I drive, not even sure what I’m looking for. After driving  around in circles for around half an hour, I stop. “This was stupid.” I say. “Really dumb, Cvita. You weren't thinking straight, were you?” I sigh and pull into the parking lot for the local park. I lean back the car seat and unbuckle myself, covering my face with my hands gently. I sit there for who knows how long, tears streaming unwillingly into my hands. But I don’t move. They're silent tears, so they don’t matter to me. I shed still tears all the time. My sorrow is silent. My sorrow is beautiful. No one will notice anyway. And if they do, they won’t care. Because that’s how people work. But not him. I shake my head at the unwelcome thought.

“But yes him, and you know it.” I say forcefully. “all of what you knew was a lie. And nothing else.” My voice breaks, a sob breaking out, ruining my silence. Ruining my heart and spirit, my trust in myself. “Don’t cry you idiot.” I whisper, my voice harsh and rushed, trying to stay ahead of the tears, who run towards my ability to speak. But finally, I give in, I close my mind, close my eyes, painting an image of pain inside my head, feeling the deepest of sorrows, my spirit dropping down low to know what pain is, what true grief is. I take my paintbrush of tears and paint an invisible picture. A picture of bittersweet agony. I sigh and bite my down on my lip hard, the picture disappearing entirely,not even a glimmer left inside of me, Not even a glimmer of sorrow. And then, I hear a knock. On the window of my car. My eyes fly open, and the pressure on my lip releases, blood rushing back into it, and a stinging feeling appearing. And then, I feel lightheaded, as my vision clears. I see a figure standing there, in black, his eyes bright, an almost perfect match to mine. So many sighs over that rush into my head, and I gasp. Because he  is standing right there. tears rush out of my eyes, happy and angry and sad and aginous. And I want to close my eyes again, lose everything out, but I also want to rush out and embrace him, hold him, hurt him with my love that I know I still have for him. I shake my head,wanting to turn on the car push him away, wanting too many things that it hurts like hell. Because Alaric Is standing right there.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

He looks just like he did last time I saw him, young, wonderful, intense eyes, a blend of blue and green, sweep, arrogant smile, the same angular cheekbones and jaw, his eyebrows concentrated and his spine straight, making me feel small and unimportant. Just like I should around a god. I roll down the window a little, just to let his voice in. I feel calm suddenly, and I swear I feel a gust of wind dry my tears away.

“Cvita.” He says, and my heart beats quickens. “You need to come with me.” I shake my head.

“Why should I? you left me, Because you’re an Immortal.” i throw the word Immortal at him like it’s something shameful, like he’s horrible.Alaric shakes his head, his eyes fixed on me sharply.

“I explained to you why--” I shake my head.

“No. You gave me pain you will never know, your highness.” Alaric shakes his head at me like i’m a young child being irrational.

“You’re being irrational.” He says, as if he’s read my mind. And who knows, maybe he has. Maybe that’s how got me to love him unconditionally.

“No. I’m not. i’m being completely logical. I’m totally sane. Because I’m mad at. Because you hurt me. And I’ll never forgive you, not ever. No matter how much I used to love you, or ever will love you.” Alaric shakes his head again, looking agitated for once.

“Cvita. Just listen.” I purse my lips.

“You have 15 seconds.” I glance at the clock on dashboard, counting the seconds until I can leave him. Leave this man who doesn’t love me. Never will.

“I just have two words for you, Cvita Johansson.” I close my eyes, ready to soak in the last words I will ever hear him say. Because I never want to see him again. Not for one second.For all of his godly eternity he can die for all I care. He can die, just like Heather said. Alaric takes a deep breather and looks me right in the eyes. “Heather’s dead.”

If an Immortal Died- More snippet.

“Alaric.” I whisper. “What’s going on? I’m so confused.” So, I head back inside, trying to focus on this beautiful day that suddenly turned sour. Why? Why? Something in my head keeps asking, over and over.Why? “Alaric.” I say to the wind, hoping beyond false hope, hoping beyond desperation, that he can hear me, that he's not somehow not dead. “Alaric. Where are you?”

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I take a deep breath and clip my hair up, trying to stop my shaking hands. I look over my face in the mirror, making sure my makeup is perfect and my hair not out of place.

“Alright.” I say, turning around and picking up my coat. I have a date tonight. I wasn’t lying when I said I had left Alaric behind. I left the God behind for something slower, something more simple. A man called Jake, he works in the cubicle next to me at the newspaper. HYe works in development, me on page layout. We’re very different, but he’s a very caring man. “Don’t think about Alaric tonight,” I say to my face in the mirror. “Just enjoy your time with Jake.” I sigh and put my coat on, slipping into my shoes and walking towards the door of my apartment, trying to ignore the tears that appeared at the edges of my lashes, daring me to let them spill out into my face. I sigh and open the door, walking down the steps briskly to my car, getting in and turning on, and pulling out of the parking lot. It’s only about a five minute drive to the restaurant we’re eating at, but my mind is spinning the entire time. how come she didn’t even tell me how? How come she wasn’t completely broken, as he should’ have been in a case like this? Does she know? Why would he tell her? Unless he was in danger, or she was. I gasp a little to myself and slam on the breaks, realizing the red light quickly. But if she was in danger, she would tell me, right? I’m her best friend. In the world. I’m one of her only friends, really. Why would... I stop. “No.” I say out loud. “You promised you wouldn’t talk or think about him. At all.” I sigh and pull into the parking lot, and my phone makes a noise. I sigh and type in the pin, seeing the picture of Alaric and I. I close my eyes and purse my lips, feeling around for the home screen button. a text appears and I tap on it. It’s from Jake.

Hey Viti,  Won’t be able to make it. Have to work late suddenly. Sorry. I’ll make it up to you next week. Kisses. <3 I sigh and turn the car back on, backing out of the parking lot.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Back in my apartment, I change into pajamas and flop into my favorite reading chair, too exhausted to pick up my book. I close my eyes and let the insecure thoughts come. What if something’s wrong with her, and she made this up? What if I’m supposed to be doing something, and this was code, or maybe she is sleep deprived from praying last night. She was out late and came back intoxicated, and... I take a deep breath and sip from the glass of water that’s always by my reading chair. Just ask her when she gets home tonight, it’ll all be clear then. I stand and begin to pace the living room. Or maybe it’s best to wait until morning. No, you’re just avoiding it. I sigh, once again, and press my lips into a very thin line. it hurts a little, and I stop after a moment. Just forget it. She was probably drunk. It’s not a big deal. Heather gets drunk. Finally, after debating with myself for half an hour, and Heather still isn’t home, I give up and go to bed, agreeing to deal with it in the morning. But I don’t. Because the dreams change whatever decision I might have made.

For once I feel the dream coming on. It feels odd, knowing what’s about to come, feeling it coming towards me. It’s spinning, twirling around, I feel my body take a deep breath, and then, the dream hits.

I see him. I see Alaric. He’s screaming something at me, and his face is full of horror. I feel my dream begin to spin around, and Alaric’s image flickers, as if there’s a connection problem with my dream. I put my hands at my sides to try and steady myself, but there’s nothing to hold onto. I try to close my eyes, wait the dream out, but it’s as if my eyes are being pulled open by an invisible force. Alaric’s face is in dismay when I can see it, and I feel myself trying to scream, but no sound comes out,. Alaric reaches out for m hand, and he manages to make one word out, and another.

“Don't--” Garbled speech comes next. “Heather.” And then, I wake up.

I’m gasping, turning around and standing at the same time, my eyes darting all over my bedroom for a glass of water, because I’m covered in sweat and the stench of desperation. I go over to my dresser and choke down the entire glass of used-to-be-fizzy lemon water.Then I fall down in the carpet, gasping, my mind looking for something to hold onto, something to bring be back to earth. I wobble over to the bed, my head throbbing.

“Alaric.” Is all I can say, even though I know I shouldn’t. “Where are you?” And I fall back on my bed, asleep once again. But that doesn’t mean I can forget all these troubles. Even in my sleep, I’m wondering where Alaric is, why Heather won’t tell me everything, and why my head hurts so much. And I can’t even begin to wonder what the answer is.

My crazy writing plan

Hellooo! How's everyone today?
Today, I'm gonna talk about my crazy writing plan. :-)

So y'all know about my computer problems, right? (If not, click here.) So, I thought about many options. One was just giving up, but you know I'd never do that, right? :-) So, I had another novel idea while in the shower today, and I wrote up a snippet for that. (If you haven't read it, and feel the need, CLICK.) So, I decided to do something only a teesny bit crazy. ;-) I'm going to try and write 10k (Words) in 15 days. So this is me and my readers-

Me: So, I'm writing 10k and 15 days.
Y'all: WHAAATTT???!!! Why would you do something so cray cray?? Just finish up the remainder on a different novel, that's simpler. And not so dumb. Besides, you have your social life to think about.
Me: ...
Me: ...What social life?
Y'all: ...
Me: And besides, I won NanoWriMo. Si I'm doing it. So there.

So, thanks for he vote of confidence, guys! ...Right?

But anyway, to keep my motivated, I'm gonna post it  here, completely RAW (Meaning not edited.) every few days. I might do a mock cover, too, and if you care for that sort of thing, check out my Pinterest Board for the book. I'm only 65 pins deep right now, but trust me, there will be more. :-) I'm obbbeeeeessseeeed. So there. Leave a comment if you wish to let me know you care/support me in this. (Seriously, I don't get enough comments.) So, my readers, Have a wonderful day.

Another Blog award....

Hi all! My friend from TN, Willa, (You know the drill, check out her blog it's awesome. :-D) Has given me another--But wait-- Not just one, but TWO blog awards. Which means you can read questions about me that you probably won't care very much about. :-) So, here's the picture for the Leibster award-

Thrilling, No? I donm't have the picctuer for the other one, the sunflower award. But here goes. The rules-

1. link the blog that nominated you for the award.

2. choose bloggers to nominate that have less than 200 followers.

3. answer the questions given to you.

4. let the people who you've nominated know when you've done so.

5. you can't nominate the person that has nominated you.

6. create eleven questions for the bloggers you've nominated to answer.

Yay! So check out Willa at www.willafivecents.blogspot.com ;-)

Now the questions...

1. If you could pick one new movie that has come out to see, what would it be?

Well, I would say the new Muppet movie, but that's not quite out yet, so... The LEGO Movie.

2. What's your favorite animal? (I know it sounds like a boring question, but let's face it people--it's become so cliche no one ever asks it anymore. Well, I won't stand for that! It really says a lot about a person...)

Um, Dogs. I love dogs, especially Chinese Crested. ;-D

3. What was the most recent book you have read?

Eight Keys By Suzanne LaFleur. It was really good. :-)

4. Knit or cotton sweaters?

Knit. 

5. If you could have any kind of dragon (tamed, mind you) what would it be like?

It would be a cool Water dragon, with webbed wings and seaweed green scales and eyes the color of the ocean. :-) Like this one below. (Again, don't own the image. :-P)

6. If you had the chance to ride bareback on an ostrich, would you take it?

Good question. I have no idea.

7. What question do you get asked the most?

"What's your novel about?" Sigh. I still don't have a good answer.

8. What's your favorite Disney Princess?

I would have to say Anna From Frozen.

9. Heeled or flat boots?

Is BOTH an option?

10. Have you ever had the urge to play the saxophone?

Yes. But also No.

11. Are you a country or a city kind of person?

City. Definitely a city kid. But I do love the country. :-)

So there you go, that's that. I'm gonna do the Sunflower award tomorrow, as long as I remember. :-) I'll also update you on my crazy plan for writing! :-D

Elsie, That Crazy one