The Letter

Signed by me. Letters across the page. Have you really left me? Will you think of me ever again? Will you read the words I say, or just throw the words away. 

The pain intensifies and I make a cross and circle. They show my love to you. They show it, But will you come to the show? Or will you throw the ticket in the trash? 

I fold up my love and walk towards my office. You know, the one I used to share with you? I take out an envelope a and press the paper into it. Did you ever think I would do this?

I lick the envelope, my hands shaking and making a mess. Do you think I can do this, or did you never believe? Why do I keep doing this? After so much time?

My boots go on my feet and my coat crosses over my shoulders. The buttons come up my waist and I tie the scarf on my neck. My love for you keeps me walking through this snow to my car. 

I keep walking, walking to you. I will hand this letter to you, signed with my love, and I am so close. Too close. My heart comes out of me and goes ahead to be free with you.

The paper, so old and thin, is something I've held in my hands for too long. I promised I would. I must remember that. I promised you, whom I love, though you may not ha known when I had done so. 

I sing the song. Our song. 

I dance the dance. Our dance. 

Our love. 

I touch the stone, your name upon it. 

Underneath is mine, waiting for me to be lowered underneath it. I remember so long ago when we buried you in this ground, and I knew that someday you would be able to see me. To love me again. And I set the letter down, and I know that my spirit is all that is left of me. That my body is Already in the ground. 

I love you, and I give you to letter. 

And I give you myself, for I am with you now. 

And forever. 

Just like we promised with the silver bands around our fingers. 

Just as we promised with the wrinkles we saw on our faces without shame. 

Just like I promised with the letter signed with my name and xoxo. And all of my love.