RIP

Last night at about 9:30, my dog Einstein left this world. Me my sister Moriah, my brother Toby, and my parents stayed up late into the night crying and sharing memories. He was beautiful dog, and we all loved him. It hurts that he's gone. He was a part of our family, and he died. This morning we told me little sisters and buried him in the back yard. We sang Amazing grace as we lowered him into the hole we dug, and I held a crying 4 year old girl in my arms. It hurt. A whole lot. I helped put the dirt over him,    And I wanted to take it back. I wanted to touch his body and make sure he was dead. But I knew he was. My sister was there. I only wish I touched him once before he was put in the ground. But it's too late now. And I want to ask my pooch to forgive me, but it's too late for that, too. I can only try to forgive myself. I wrote a poem. That's. The only thing I could try to do. Listen to music and write a poem. So here goes.

So many

Days

I yelled

Too many

Tears

I shed

All of that

Pain

Is here

I just want

It 

To dissapear

I should've

Thought

More clearly

I would've 

Reached

One more time

The pain grows

Though

It numbs, too

Don't think that

I'm 

Healing yet

Sometimes you

Can

Be broken

Pain can reach

In

And rip you out

There's one. I wrote another, too.

Pieces of me

Are with you

Watch over them

Your pain is gone

Though mine stays

Deep and rising

Tears shed deepest 

Not by me

By one you loved

She has more pain

Then I do

Doesn't matter

I will still say

Pain is pain

No matter what

I wish this pain

Would run off

I'm breaking off

I don't want to

Be alone

But I can't speak

These memories

So hurtful

Leave me alone

Pain is the one

World of love

Remember that

Embers of love

Don't forget

Tears falling stil

Saying something

Hurts too much

I just cry now

Walking away

Feels too wrong

But I can't speak

Someday maybe

This pain will

Wash away like

Waves of all my

Tears and blood

Lost and found heart